Our VOIP line is mighty!

You want to talk to the Ardents, you say? Well, all you need to do now is call my old cell-phone number, WHICH YOU SHOULD ALREADY HAVE!

That's right. To call us, just dial 1-650-224-3165. Harnessing the awesome power of the Internet, your call will be recorded by the NSA, converted to digital audio, encoded into IP packets, recorded by the NSA yet again, then delivered to our home in Wellington, with none but the NSA the wiser! It's like we never left the country, and are being illegally wiretapped at home! Remember, kids, the President took an Oath to uphold the Constitution. Failure to do so is treason, and the penalty for treason is death!

(As you can tell, I'm extra-tasty pissed about the current US administration these days.)